The Woman in Black…

Too hot to sleep last night, so I decided to watch a video.  Didn’t want anything too action packed and exciting, so I decided to see how James Watkins handled Susan Hill’s 1983 novella The Woman in Black.  Sleep? Seriously, what was I thinking?

For all that the novella was written in 1983, The Woman in Black is as close to a Victorian ghost story as it possibly can be.  It absolutely lacks any of the blood and gore that characterises modern ‘horror’, yet still manages to inspire fear through the use of subtle language, imagery and suggestion.  Frankly, it creeped me out much more effectively than the shockiest modern horror and it had a plot!

Watkin’s hasn’t produced a particularly faithful rendition of the book – it’s all out of sequence and large chunks have been omitted completely – but he retained the major elements and stuck to the spirit of the tale.  Readers will remember the semi-sentient fog, the barking dog and that terrifying rocking chair.

The script, written by Jane Goodman, dramatically alters the character of Arthur Kipps (Daniel Radcliffe) by a surprising degree.  In the novella, Kipps is a happily married soon-to-be father with an enthusiasm for life.  Whereas, the film Kipps is a widower with a four-year old son and textbook post traumatic depression.  A hollow shell of a man trying to find some small degree of contentment while battling internal and external ghosts.

The utter hopelessness and unhappiness of all the characters simply adds to the bleakness and this, when added to the villager’s constant skittishness and their loudly unspoken secret, sets the scene beautifully.  Combined this with the dark and brooding lighting and the complete absence of sunlight and its clear something wicked is going to happen.

Daniel Radcliffe is startlingly young when compared to the other cast, which serves to emphasise his status as ‘outsider’ and illustrate his lack of knowledge.  I wondered if perhaps he was too young to play such a jaded, world-weary character, but I’m happy to say I was wrong on this.

I also enjoyed Ciaran Hind’s portrayal of Sam Daly, the local landowner who completely renounces the superstition/myth – despite the death of his own son in eerily suspicious circumstances – until it becomes quite impossible to do so.  Daly’s wife, played by Janet McTeer, almost surpasses the ghost for creepiness with her ‘twin’ dog babies.  *shudder*.

Watkins holds tension and sense of brooding evil throughout and had me jumping at shadows quite nicely.  Occasionally the tension was broken by a cathartic shock, but even more unsettling are those scenes in which the shock never comes.  The film had my flesh creeping all the way through.

I was less than thrilled with the ‘new’ ending; it ties everything up far too neatly and provides a degree of redemption that Susan Hill did not in her novella.  Personally, I feel Hill had it right first time.  The lack of real resolution and sense of despair in Hill’s novella stays with you far longer that the Goodman re-write; which dissipates all of the carefully built tension and wraps things up in a nice neat bundle.

In all, a film I would gladly watch again.  Preferably during the day, with all the lights on.

Dark Shadows

Yes, I went to the cinema again.  This year has quite a few of potential must see’s due for release and, now that we HAVE a cinema in town again, getting to see them is much easier.  So, on to my review.

I used to like Tim Burton as a director; he’s brought us several stylish, funny and thought-provoking films.  Which is why I walked out of Dark Shadows wondering ‘what the hell were you doing!’.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s a stylish and (occasionally) funny film but perhaps someone should have paid more attention to the script hmm?

There is a worryingly misogynistic overtone throughout the whole film that, frankly, gives me some doubt as to Mr Burton’s continued sanity and left me with a particularly nasty taste in my mouth in places.  Women are portrayed either as vile, deceitful creatures who deserve their unpleasant fates or objects of sexual gratification – there is no in between state.  I’m including the female teenager in that category as well.  It could be argued that Burton was attempting to remain true to the time period, but there is very little evidence of that.

The humour waffles between high camp (something the original Dark Shadows was noted for) and 70s middle of the road family values . Sadly, Burton’s famously twisted sense of humour has let him down badly.  Ultimately, the underlying misogyny and the failure to choose one style and stick to it makes it a rather cloying lump of a film with few redeeming features.

Depp provides his usual excellent work, but his efforts fall painfully flat with the material he has to work with.  Perhaps I’ve seen one too many overly made up freaks.  I did enjoy the somewhat confrontational relationship between his character (Barnabas Collins) and that of Eva Green (Angelique Bouchard) but I became rather bored with the continual love me/hate me battles in the end.

As usual for a Burton film, the costumes, production design and cinematography were excellent, and provided just enough of an incentive to sit and watch the film in its entirety.  Sadly, this wasn’t enough to lift Dark Shadows out of the mediocre.

So would I sit through it again?  Maybe.  Once, with the adult kids perhaps.  Would I take the grand kids – hell no!  I’d like to see them grow up without some of the negative attitudes prevalent today thank you very much.  Would I buy a copy to keep – not in my wildest nightmares.

Sorry Mr Burton, your time is up.

Avengers Assemble!

Probably only my immediate family and closest friends know that I’m a nut for DC and Marvel.  So you can imagine the squeals of glee when I went to see this film.  All my favourite Marvel heroes in one lengthy movie.  I was not disappointed.

It’s a fairly lengthy film (>2 hours) and it started with a bang… literally.  I won’t describe the plot for those of you who haven’t seen it yet, but the action sequences were exceptional and the cgi work flawless.

Tom Hiddleston (Loki) was delightfully conflicted and portrayed the duality of Loki’s nature superbly.  I particularly enjoyed the scene with Mark Ruffalo (Hulk) towards the end of the film… puny god indeed.

Robert Downey Junior (Iron Man) was, as always, the perfect choice for the Tony Stark character; he is every bit the masked, emotionally neglected child acting out for the slightest attention… however, negative.

I enjoyed Mark Ruffalo’s Bruce Banner (Hulk) tremendously.  Much better than the last few actors to play him.  He is finally being shown as the intelligent, capable and devious individual he should have been all along.  No more wimpy weepy thank god.

Chris Hemsworth (Thor) and Chris Evans (Captain America) were, in my opinion, given the short end of the stick in this movie.  Both characters have been placed in an unfamiliar world (either by being alien to it or out of their time) but I got a little irritated with the number of ‘misunderstanding’ type gags.  The ‘flying monkey’ reference in particular fell totally flat… and I understood it!  Neither character was given either the flair or the individuality they were allowed in their own films and that’s a very great shame.

Ok, that’s enough about the actors.

Joss Whedon is definitely one of the better directors out there and I feel he has created a cracking movie out of an inordinate amount of available back story and bluster.  There’s very little room for subtlety in an action movie that attempts to combine so much into such a short timeframe, and how better to illustrate the growth of the characters than by showing their petty squabbles and jostling for position in the Avenger’s hierarchy.  It takes a potentially world ending catastrophe to get the team working together and Whedon pulls out all the stops to provide a suitable disaster.  Sadly, his small budget roots were evident in that the action scenes, while arguably quite spectacular, lacked some of the big budget ‘Wow!’ you’d expect from a blockbuster.

Kudos to the writers too; the dialogue was definitely in character and the humour was droll and cattily funny.  I would have liked it if the film were a little more plotty, but that’s only the writer in me making a token protest.  The comic fan says hell no, its perfect just as it is.

Is Avengers a film I’d go and watch again.  The answer is definitely a yes to that one.  Will I be buying the DVD the second it’s released… probably, maybe… oh hell, of course I will dammit.

From the river winding clearly, Down to towered Camelot…

So, the kids have been on half term; as if anyone in the UK could miss that one. Anyway, the primary school my eldest grandspawn attends belongs to a loose group of schools that tend to arrange trips during the breaks. This time it was to Camelot Theme Park near Park Hall, Chorley.

Camelot is not for the older age groups. Most of the rides are aimed at under 12s; even the ‘fiercer’ rides like Whirlpool, Knightmare and Excalibur 2 are probably too tame for anyone over 15. I don’t include myself in this. I absolutely hate rollercoasters, probably because I absolutely hate heights.

I’d argue that it’s not for the elderly either. Much of the park is built on the side of a fairly steep incline and involves a fair old yomp up hill and down dale. I lost track of how many times we walked up to the top and back down again, although I think I can safely say it was more than 5; if the state of my leg and buttock muscles are anything to go by.

We arrived just before 11am and the park was almost deserted. Of course, it was hailing and the sky was black as pitch when we arrived. Luckily that settled down to a fairly light shower, which carried on for the next hour or so. It didn’t really spoil our enjoyment that much – we do live in the UK after all.

By 11:45 we’d had enough of the rain so we went inside to watch a Magic Workshop. It was interesting to see how some of the more simple magic tricks are performed and I’m sure the kids will be trying some of them out on the gullible. There was an actual magic show later in the day, but we decided not to see that.

At 12:30 we went to the jousting arena to watch the tourney performed by Lionheart Entertainment. The costumes were far from authentic, but the acting was pretty good, the staged fights well choreographed and the riding displays kept my interest. If you discount the inaccuracies it was good entertainment for the money. I think a little more historical information – perhaps a workshop – would be good for the school trips, but it kept the little darlings quiet for an hour.

Historically though, I’m fairly sure Mordred did not have dreads, Gawain was a good guy (and was actually the green knight) and Launcelot was fair. Truthfully though, I really can’t accuse them of historical inaccuracy, given that the origin of the legend of Arthur is thought to actually be a fanciful reinterpretation created by Geoffrey of Monmouth back in the 12th century.

By the way, Gawain, if you ever read this, ‘Dave’ is not a suitably noble name for a mighty destrier. Your mount might be called ‘Dave’ but, come on, you’re an actor… fib a little. He’s a gorgeous horse and deserves a loftier name.

We traipsed back up the hill to the petting zoo and spent a little while looking at the birds of prey and the farm animals. The pygmy goats are allowed to run wild in the zoo area, and you can buy bags of food for £1. Little kids will love this; if you can get them away from the meerkats that is.

We made a short side trip into Playland, an indoor ball pool/adventure type play area, before dashing out again.

The Bird of Prey show was at 2pm and we all trailed back down the hill to the jousting arena. The show is run by Gauntlet, who also maintain the zoo area, and is well worth watching. The birds are allowed to get right up into the audience and its probably the only time you’ll ever see a raptor that closer without being dinner. Personally, I thought ‘Nibbles’ the Black Vulture stole the show. At the end the handler demonstrated a hunt wit hawks, and then allowed the kids to pet an albino ferret who took part in the demonstration. Give me the vulture any day.

By the time the show was over the sun had finally made an appearance and we had just enough time to go on a few more rides before heading back to the coaches.

I can’t comment on the food service areas as we took our own food with us. The gift shop was as expensive as you’d expect from a theme park and firmly geared towards children; lots of sweets, soft toys and plastic weaponry.

The facilities were clean and well maintained, and there were plenty of them all over the park. The staff were all friendly and helpful, and maintained a sunny smile despite the awful weather.

Would I visit again? Camelot gets a resounding yes. The only real niggle I have is the hilly location, which could prove problematic for disabled visitors. That said, the organisers have done everything in their power to make the park as accessible as possible. There aren’t many places designed for young theme park addicts, but this has to be one of the best for the price.

I apologise for the quality of the images.  No one has ever been able to accuse me of being good at photography, and with a phone camera I’m even worse.

I just noticed…

That I actually managed to copy/paste in the last post – and it worked! Is my jinx broken? Watch this space.

April Showers…

I was tidying up in the study today, and filing some of the paper mountain, when I came across a copy of this (link included for translation purposes).

Whan that Aprill, with his shoures soote
The droghte of March hath perced to the roote
And bathed every veyne in swich licour,
Of which vertu engendred is the flour;

Whan Zephirus eek with his sweete breeth
Inspired hath in every holt and heeth
The tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne
Hath in the Ram his halfe cours yronne,
And smale foweles maken melodye,
(That slepen al the nyght with open eye)
So priketh hem Nature in hir corages
Thanne longen folk to goon on pilgrimages

And palmeres for to seken straunge strondes
To ferne halwes, kowthe in sondry londes;
And specially from every shires ende
Of Engelond, to Caunterbury they wende,
The hooly blisful martir for to seke
That hem hath holpen, whan that they were seeke.

Bifil that in that seson, on a day,
In Southwerk at the Tabard as I lay
Redy to wenden on my pilgrymage
To Caunterbury with ful devout corage,
At nyght was come into that hostelrye
Wel nyne and twenty in a compaignye
Of sondry folk, by aventure yfalle
In felaweshipe, and pilgrimes were they alle,
That toward Caunterbury wolden ryde.

The chambres and the stables weren wyde,
And wel we weren esed atte beste.
And shortly, whan the sonne was to reste,
So hadde I spoken with hem everichon,
That I was of hir felaweshipe anon,
And made forward erly for to ryse
To take our wey, ther as I yow devyse.

But nathelees, whil I have tyme and space,
Er that I ferther in this tale pace,
Me thynketh it acordaunt to resoun
To telle yow al the condicioun
Of ech of hem, so as it semed me -
And whiche they weren and of what degree,
And eek in what array that they were inne;
And at a knyght than wol I first bigynne.

The thing with ‘olde’ English is that it is spelled how it sounds to the writer; meaning a word can have many different spellings.  As people were allowed to become educated, standardised spellings became the norm and it became easier to read and write.

It got me to thinking about the English language and the sheer number of words that we’ve borrowed from other languages over the centuries.

Even back in the days of Chaucer the language was a constantly evolving entity; with Latin, French, German and many other words joining the mix.  English is a beautiful, if sometimes complex, language which, when used correctly can evoke the most glorious imagery.

Which just makes me cringe when I see things like ‘soz’ and ‘bouffy’ added to the dictionary.  In my opinion, these aren’t new words. Instead, they are evidence of the semi-literacy of a generation of dispossessed youth kept poorly educated and woefully ignorant by a government that wants its people easily manipulated and controlled.  After all, if the voting public can barely read and write, how can they learn about the idiocy (and frequent illegal actions) of the current government?

Does this mean that ‘olde’ English will make a comeback as we slip rapidly back into neo-feudalism?  Given time, and another few years of Conservative (sorry, LibDem) stupidity should just about do it, I think standardised spelling will go the way of the Dodo – along with most of the other things our grandparents fought for.  We’re already well on our way.

Making like the White Rabbit…

For those of you not familiar with classic literature (Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll)… I’m late for a very important date. Yep. I almost missed this year’s Script Frenzy.

Not to worry though. I had an idea percolating, so I made a start and crashed out three pages.  OK, so they’re based on a script I wrote for Uni – many years ago – but the idea behind the pages is still sound and was crying out for elaboration.

I’ll keep you posted on my sucessses.

If anyone wants to read the original, the link is here.